Introduction: In my introduction paragraph, I did not change the opening statement. I felt like it was strong enough to keep as it was. Before, I only introduced who James Gee was to the reader but after revision, I added the Cuddy intro in there too. It was previously on page five, and I feel it benefits my paper by adding it to the introduction. Overall, I also thought how I presented my points in the introduction was effective thus making me decide to keep them how they were.
Evidence and Explanations: I did not end up adding any new evidence from the text into my paper during revision. I felt that my quote choice was strong and effectively supported my points and arguments. I added more “I Say” into a few of my body paragraphs, stating whether I agree or disagree with the Cuddy or Gee quotes I would mention. I also shortened my explanations to the reader on what a primary Discourses and secondary Discourses were so I could spend more of my paper taking about my views.
Reorganization: I did not move full paragraphs around during revision of my paper. However, I did move around certain aspects of paragraph. As stated earlier, I moved my Cuddy intro from page 5 to the introduction paragraph. I was satisfied with my paragraph order, and thought they transition together smoothly in building my argument for the reader throughout the course of the whole paper.
New Paragraphs: In total, my final draft was actually around 40 words shorter than my first draft. I did not add new paragraphs to the final draft. I actually wrote two additional paragraphs during revision I was considering adding, but they would have made the paper too repetitive and may have made the reader lose interest. During revision, I went through my paper paragraph by paragraph and made the changes that I saw fit. The paragraphs I already had do a good job in supporting my argument, and I did not have a need to make dire changes after also receiving positive feedback from my peers.
